When Guadalupe and her 7-year-old daughter, Keylani, moved from Virginia to El Paso in the middle of the school year, Keylani’s behavior changed.
“Keylani had been struggling a lot since the move,” Guadalupe said. “She hadn’t been able to make friends because she had been very sad. My daughter’s teachers would email about Keylani not listening and just being very disruptive.”
Keylani really missed her grandma and cousins in Virginia, and Guadalupe wondered if she had made the right choice coming to Texas.
“I think there was a point that I was probably going to move back to Virginia, but I was like, let me see what I can do,” Guadalupe said.
Guadalupe’s best friend recommended she find resources for children’s counseling, which led her to the FAYS program at the El Paso Center for Children.
Guadalupe said asking for help was difficult, but she knew it was the best thing she could do for Keylani.
FAYS Program
Family and Youth Success (FAYS) is a free program that helps families deal with everyday struggles such as family conflict, bullying, cyberbullying, grief, anger, school attendance, divorce and more. Local organizations offer services and supports like one-on-one coaching and counseling with trained professionals, and group learning for kids and parents.
Guadalupe said asking for help was difficult, but she knew it was the best thing she could do for Keylani.
“It hit my mom pride! It was like, what am I doing wrong?” she said. “It took me a week to call. We set up an appointment, and Mrs. Patricia called back.”
Guadalupe spoke with Patricia Smelser, a family support specialist, about the issues Keylani was going through. Smelser told her not to worry.
“We set it up, and it just went great right after that,” Guadalupe said.
Keylani got excited about her lessons with Smelser each week.
Smelser’s role at the El Paso Center for Children is to help families by teaching them communication, parenting and coping skills.
“Through the program, we worked with Keylani on boundaries, showing kindness, and how to walk away when it comes to bullying,” Smelser said. “For mom, we worked with her on setting those limits and consequences at home.”
Choosing Kindness
Keylani got excited about her lessons with Smelser each week, and Guadalupe quickly saw how they had a positive effect on her behavior. Among Smelser’s lessons was how Keylani should handle someone lashing out in anger toward her, and whether she would react the same or show kindness.
“And at school, she’ll be like, I remember with Mrs. Patricia, the paperwork we did, and I choose kindness instead,” Guadalupe said. “That’s my Keylani.”
Guadalupe has seen a huge improvement in Keylani’s behavior.
Communication is Key
Guadalupe said one of the most powerful things the FAYS program did was open the lines of communication so Guadalupe and Keylani could better understand each other.
“Keylani is the type that if she’s going through something, she’s going to hold it,” Guadalupe said. “Mrs. Patricia helped Keylani to communicate those feelings, which made me understand Keylani more and be more patient with her, and I’m very grateful for that.”
Today, Guadalupe has seen a huge improvement in Keylani’s behavior. She has started at a new school and things are going well.
“Within two to three weeks we saw a change,” Guadalupe said. “Now, when she feels sad or frustrated, she draws her feelings in a notebook that Mrs. Patricia gave her.”
Guadalupe said she never expected things to change that fast.
“I’m so proud of her,” she said. “I’m impressed with how much she actually listens, for a 7-year-old, and for her to take those steps and apply what Mrs. Patricia was telling her.”
Guadalupe hopes any family who is struggling will look for a FAYS program in their area.
“Please don’t wait,” she said. “I am so happy I took that step. Don’t wait any longer to get the help you need for your child.”
Now, when she feels sad or frustrated, she draws her feelings in a notebook that Mrs. Patricia gave her.
Finding Programs Near You
The FAYS program is offered through local community partners throughout Texas. Availability, eligibility and resources vary by county. Find programs in your area.
